To the Public

[Peyton James]

The names Peyton. Maybe a bit about me first before I start saying things. People call me a prep cause they say I like to gossip. Sometimes I think they are wrong but other times they are right. I love to gossip and its my thing to do! So if your name gets mentioned in this blog then dont have a cow cause it doesnt mean I think that about you...its just what I have heard. So dont judge me cause I am a really nice person but if you are mean to me, then there comes my preppy attitude right to you. I'm a fifteen year old who goes to Canterbury Academy, and I dont have a boyfriend sadly. No best friends either, all I have is my horse May.

Sure I've met some people but I cant seem to act like myself around them. Normally I'm firing out questions asking people so many questions. I cant help but act like a sweetheart just to make some friends. I know I should act like myself but somehow its really hard to. I think I'm on a verge of changing. What else is new? When I was in Paris I guess I acted the same way but once I made my group of friends I became more of a prep. Once I know people to feed me gossip I will be my true self...I believe.

I almost wish that I was in Paris again but I know that I cant be. My parents dont want me to be. So I guess its for the best if my parents think that. Hopefully my little sister is doing better then me and hopefully she wont get sent to boarding school to boarding school. I love to blog about stuff so thats why my blogs are always so long. My parents being physciartrists and all think its because I have no real friends to talk to. Great now my parents think I'm socially challenged. Well they were the ones that havent been giving me my best childhood. What if I wanted to have a kid when I'm older? I will have no idea how to raise a child because my parents were never there for me...only a nanny was. That nanny was like a mom to me but she didnt talk to me like a normal person. Actually as far back as I remember she didnt talk to me she just did her job. Put me to sleep and left for a while.

Do you wanna know a little secret about me? Well I have only seen my little sister once since she has been born. So if I were to go home I bet she wouldnt remember who I am. I actually hope her life is better then mine. All I have is pictures that my parents sent. So far my parents have kept her at home but thats what they did to me until I was in the 6th grade then they wanted me to travel the world. My parents never offered to keep me home. Now that I'm grown up and can help around the house they still didnt ask me back home. Instead they are like "Try Canterbury...you'll enjoy it." then the other one walks over and says "How do you feel about that?" a typical physciartrist question. Maybe I wanted to get out at first but now I'm tired. I cant even count how many places I have been on my hands. I need a break to tell you the truth. If I keep going and going I'm not going to be able to be myself.

So friends...they are my life. Yet I dont have any right now. Only in Paris and we can only text. So if you guys go to Canterbury and you want to meet me then comment here. Now remember I'm not perfect, but I can sure try as hard as I can. So give me a chance and I will give you one. Please just talk to me cause you may not know that I have things going on becuase when you see me in person I act like nothings wrong but on the inside I'm tearing a part. I will talk to you believe me...I can be a chatterbox and I love to ride horses so maybe on the trails I will see you.

Now for some gossip news. Did you all know that Levi was my cousin. Haha neither did I until my mom told me that my cousin was going to Canterbury. We have never met before. Anyway I heard he likes someone...or so I have heard. I'm still waiting for more. I see a lot of people hooking up at Canterbury. All new romances going around. I'll fill you in next time

Take me away to better days, a secret place, a sweet escape.
I got a pocketful of sunshine!
Love,
Peyton James.

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[Peyton James]

I feel as if I have neglected this blog. I havent had the time to do a lot of stuff with school and stuff like that. I have had an awesome time at prom even though I didnt go with anyone. I loved my dress...maybe a little to much and hope I get to wear it again. Not a lot has gone on since the last time I wrote but I just wanted to check in. I have had some weird feelings lately that I just cant really seem to sort.

People are all different in many ways. When you got to most schools students tend to follow their peers and form into "clones" of everyone else. This is the first school I have been to that doesnt do that! I love that but then again everyone has their own cliques and boy do they stick to them. Sure the schools in Paris had cliques but everyone was friendly with everyone. Just the other day I ran into someoen and I said "excuse me" and they just glared at me and kept walking. Back in Paris you would say that and you would get a friendly reply. I guess you can say I miss my past and all my friends. I actually just realized how much I truley miss my family and my neighborhood.

To tell you all the truth I dont even have a room in my parents house. I have only been there a couple of times before they even ship me off but it was made into a nursery for my sister who was born a few years ago. And another little secret I never tell anyone is....i have only met my baby sister once! I wish I could be there to be there while she grows up. I really hope she has a normal life! I dont want her life to be anything like mine. I met her when she was first born, I was actually brought home from Paris...but enough about her.

I cant help to think about my friends. Here I have no one to talk to or gossip with. I know if I make myself more like me I'm sure I can be back to normal. This school is awesome dont get me wrong but there are sometimes when I wish I had my big group of friends back, to do everything with...gossip, text during classes, and ask to go to the bathroom to check their lip gloss. I have gotten to the point where I fight back tears adn I dont want to be doing that anymore. Maybe I will just go to the beach and get myself back to normal.

Boys...wow they are so different. Dont get me wrong everyone is different and I respect that!! This happens everytime I move somewhere...having to meet new people and see what everyone is like. I will grow out of this phase but I just need friends and time. I just want to find that certain someone who likes me for me and maybe it will be. So far I havent found that someone and its not like I'm desperate! So maybe just maybe I will be back to myself, cause this phase only seems to last a few days.

All you gotta do is watch me, look what I can do with my feet!
Love,
Peyton James.

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